Sai Spiritual Showers: Volume 3  Issue 57 Thu, Jul 12, 2012
sparks from the divine anvil
When a devotee reposes his unwavering faith in Bhagawan, sans any reservation, when one is sure to ensure that He and He alone is dwelling in his heart, man is sure to earn His bounteous torrential grace that takes him to greater realms of spiritual understanding...What if Bhagawan comes and asks for a place in your heart? Read on what Ms. Neelam Sembbi of Sri Sathya Sai College, Jaipur had shared with the readers in the August 1981 issue of Sanathana Sarathi.

When the incident I am relating occurred, I was a student of the 10th class. I was suffering from constant stomachache for about a year; I used to vomit blood five to seven times a day. In spite of such a bad condition, I attended all the Bhajans arranged by Sri Sathya Sai Seva Samiti, Dharamsala (H P.) regularly. I was also a student of the Bal Vikas at that time.

One day at school the mathematics class was going on. I felt like vomiting and asked for permission to go out. When I came back, my teacher stared at me and said: "You are a devotee of Sri Sathya Sai Baba; why does not He cure you with His Divine ash (Vibhuti)?"

These words of the teacher hurt me very much. I came back home with a heavy heart. I decided not to take any medicine but only "Vibhuti.” Even then my condition was not improving. This was a great test for me.

It was the month of July. My school was closed for two months. My mother decided to take me to the Post Graduate Institute at Chandigarh for treatment, as my condition was getting worse day by day.

It was a Monday, near about 2 P. M. I was lying on my bed and reading the book, "Sathyam, Sivam, Sundaram." There was a passage in it where Swami says: "I dwell in the hearts of My devotees." I thought, "What Swami said here is not true in my case. Swami is not in my heart. If Swami is in my heart, why don't I feel His presence?" Thinking about all this I fell asleep. Then Sai Baba of Shirdi appeared in my vision and from the other side Sri Sathya Sai Baba appeared and then both merged with each other and after that there was only our beloved Swami. An enchanting smile was playing on His lips. He said, "Jivatma! Awake! Arise! See Who is before you!" I replied with great joy, "Swami, Bhagawan Himself is standing before me.” Swami became serious and said, "Recognise Me and give Me a place in your heart.” I answered, "Swami. I don't have the capability to keep such a great soul in my heart." Swami said, "Keep Me always in your heart.”

After that, I changed the topic and asked "Swami, I have great anger in me. You say that anger is a vice. In my anger I feel like destroying everything that comes before me, but anyhow I control myself.” At this Swami laughed and said, "Even then this doesn't help you." I requested, "Please advise me about the way I can control myself.” Swami answered, "When your temper rises, drink some cold water, take a walk around the garden or lie down on your bed.” I asked Bhagawan "We call You so much, but even then you don't come. How should we call You?"

Swami replied with a smile: "I am with you every moment; you yourself cannot feel My presence.” He continued: "Whenever you get the opportunity to serve anyone, serve him well. While serving, don't think of what you will get in return. You attend all Bhajans and Bal Vikas regularly; it makes Me feel very happy, but don't think when you come to Puttaparthi Swami will reward you. Do Seva without thinking of its reward.” Then Bhagawan said, "Swami is in your heart and wants you to get cured.”

And true to His words, Swami cured me and the roots of that illness have completely disappeared. I don't know in what words I can thank Bhagawan. I can only ask for His blessings and pray to Him to show me the path of goodness.