Learning the Lessons
There were mental confusion, emotional problems, and ignorance to be overcome. These were brought to the surface one by one—sometimes through Baba's direct intervention and at other times through what appeared to be just the coincidences of life experience. These experiences are described in detail in my book, 'Life is a Game, Play it!’ To quickly summarize, they involved learning to surrender the ego-will to the Divine Will (humility,) balancing the male and female qualities, learning to love the Divine in others, even when appearances might make them seem to be enemies, and many other developmental tasks easily recognizable by pilgrims on the spiritual path.
Last year, when Swami asked my husband what he wanted, he asked that Baba heal my knees. He indicated that He would do as Raye had requested, and said, "I will give her a lingam before you go." We thought that he meant He would manifest a lingam for me, as He had done for others. However, in a second interview, He manifested a crystal japamala for me, but no lingam. This was a mystery to us until several months later we saw this quotation in Sanathana Sarathi:
"Swami is the very embodiment of compassion. He will pardon all errors. This principle which guides and guards you along the spiritual path is the lingam that is in the center of consciousness, clustering around the inner and outer senses."
I realized, then, that the lingam which Baba had given me before I left was the pardon of my errors. They were not forgiven so that I could be free from punishment, but they were being corrected in order that I might not repeat them. The process was dramatically difficult over the past year. Two major crises occurred which forced me to give up longstanding mistaken behaviours. I see these now as two major obstacles which it was necessary to surmount before the healing of the knees could occur.
The miracle of miracles
Over the past few days, since Baba told me to "Getup!" I have been questioned by physicians who were witness to the event, and photographed standing, walking, and sitting. The major question asked is: Was this a genuine miracle? I have attempted to answer each question as factually as possible. In terms of any physical change, since there has not yet (and probably will never be) any comparison of before and after X-rays, I can report only this: Prior to December 1, whenever I walked only a few steps, inflammation of the joints was so great that there was considerable heat and greatly increased pain for several days following. As of now, after walking more than I have walked for the past several years, there is no inflammation of the joints at all—no heat. Muscles which are being used after years of relative idleness are reacting with soreness but this is not at all out of the ordinary. Whether the condition will return or be permanently vanquished, I feel, depends strictly on me. Swami has done His job. Now it is up to me to do mine.
I am, of course, extremely grateful for every aspect of this experience but I know that Baba wants us to understand His adherence to and fulfillment of the law. He has continually stressed that He is God, and that each of us is God—that whatever He does is possible for us to do also. If rearranging molecules or exchanging one substance for another is considered miraculous, then He does perform miracles. Many hundreds of people can testify to witnessing such events. That He is able to regenerate a badly deteriorated knee joint is not more difficult than causing a ring to slip on the finger easily when seconds before no amount of force could push it on.
However, the miracle of all miracles is the unwavering, unchanging love which he pours out freely to everyone who will open his heart to receive it. What has happened in my experience is only a tiny speck of what has happened in the lives of hundreds of thousands of people. Each one has been healed of his diseases, pardoned of his errors, and freed from his addictions as rapidly as he would permit. The miracle of miracles is a life regenerated. Baba's mission is to regenerate lives—and through such, to guide us into the realization of Advaita and the experience of peace on earth.
